Life disrupted (tales of a home remodel)....

So Rich and I have been in the midst of a home remodel for the last couple of weeks (mostly of our bedroom). We moved all our furniture into the garage, and have been tipping our mattress up out of the way in order to both paint, and also put in wood floors. Its been an adventure, one that the both of us are ready to be done with.... you never realize how nice it is to have bedroom furniture until you still have it, but are unable to use it. But alas, it’s been a fun adventure for the both of us, and thank god for my father letting us borrow his wood floor installing staple gun! I have no idea where we would be without it!

So Work at Shi has been a challenge as of late... Bruce continued to screw up multiple times, and will be leaving us shortly, but will I be co-manager? False! In waiting and waiting we ended up having a corporate visit, and the regional manager decided that I am not "management material"... I then proceeded to do 400% of my daily goal, but I’m not "management material". But screw them, I'll just keep doing my job, and then when something better comes along, I’ll go for that.

I've also been attending the Utah School Of Phlebotomy.... I didn't have enough dollars to stay at SLCC, which is a bit pathetic, but next semester! But I’m getting better at poking people.... still not very good at getting poked myself though... I can do about two sticks before I’m ready to expel my breakfast... but all in all I’m quite enjoying the class, and hoping to get a good job doing that, and then I can leave retail behind me and have a real semi-grown-up job...

Life is a Never Ending Interview....

So today I have my long awaited interview at Wells Fargo! I am so nervous..... I feel like i have it basically because i made it though the last three rounds of interviews and a background check.... So i think I'm doing pretty well. If i don't get this I'm still in the system for the next 60 days, so i don't have to re-apply for the next two months! but alas.....

I started the Job at Shi.... little nervous what I'm going to tell my manager if i get the job at Wells.... because she's basically told me that I'm co-manager if Bruce screws up again.... not sure how I'll break it to her....

In other news, I've moved out of my Orem Apartment and moved in with Rich officially! so all my crap is hanging out down in the garage waiting for me to go through it and figure out what i do and don't need, a task that i am much not looking forward to doing.... but it'll be good to purge the crap of my life.

Life "Current and Up to Date"....

Well hello y'all! So I have not been updating lately and there has been so much going on in my life recently! And I know y'all are all dying to find out what has been going on in my ever-fascinating life...

So probably the biggest news of the moment is that I have a boyfriend! Big change from the last post si? We're coming up on our 3-month anniversary here pretty quick. 3 months you might not thing that that’s too impressive, but in gay time that’s like 2 years, and we will be officially be moving in together mid August, so its quite exciting.... And moving at a million miles an hour! It’s been good and has been a fun ride and I can only wait in anticipation for what's next....

I will begin my attendance at the prestigious institute of higher learning Salt Lake Community College I am very much looking forward to this development in life... I feel like going back to school is long over due, but also I feel like the break was good.... I got to just goof off with little responsibility, but it is time for me to move on from "lazy ass Jacob". I will be taking Math 1010, English 1100, Biology 1010 & 1015, and French 1010 (which I am quite excited for!) and all starting at 8 am sharp every day.... so we'll see how that works out.

I believe that last I posted I was working at Lane Bryant.... Well I’m still there for now, but I have also started working at Bath & Body Works, and Shi, which is a shoe store by Journeys. Work has been keeping me pretty busy which is a nice change, and the extra cash is not a problem either!

Mindy will be getting back from Alaska in a couple weeks and I can hardly wait for her long anticipated return.... I thought two months would just fly by... but they have dragged on just a little bit due to the constant thoughts of "god if only Mindy were here".... but that will be soon to change and I can hardly wait!

Life and Mindy....

So yesterday was an adventure.

Mindy and i Finally made our Trax and friendship proof adventure. I took her "Trax virginity" and goodness what a delight that was.

Mindy had never in her life ridden the Trax, and was... paranoid for lack of a better term. Convinced that she would be mugged on the train. I had to repeatedly tell her that the entire train would have to turn against her and all be in on it for a successful mugging to go down.

Upon reaching Salt Lake we went to The Salt Lake City Public Library to see the new Anne Frank exhibit... Either we were at the wrong exhibit, or it was less then we expected. But it was otherwise delightful, and the library in general is just a treat in its self. The art that is has is phenomenal. We actually stumbled across a delightful exhibit of pigment prints and black&white photography. It was wonderful. We then ventured out to the courtyard where we found a delightful

little statue garden, and decided that Salt Lake needs a Japanese Garden.

Our adventure then took us up to Temple Square, which I feel is probably one of the most beautiful places in the world, and everyone is just so delightful! As we were moseying about the grounds we decided to go visit Mindy's father who we thought worked in the Church Office Building... We were false in this assumption, and when we tried to go up to where we thought his office was we set off this alarm at the gate, that was exciting and the security guard looked at us like we were retarded. We were then informed that her father in fact worked in the Joseph Smith Building. We then proceeded to go visit him there.

The next part of our adventure was at the LDS Conferen

ce center where Mindy fabricated this story that we were Med students form UC Irvine, and we were checking out the U of U. This was a delightful charade. And our tour guides were simply delightful, answered all our questions, and just were fantastic!

After the tour we moseyed around the city for a little bit, and then headed home to cease the pain of our empty stomachs. It was a delightful, relaxing day that I hope to have many more of. And now Mindy and I have Proof of out friendship for the next time either of us are interrogated on our friendship.

Life Putting Myself Out There, and the National Anthem on TV...

So today I sent Tyler and e-mail basically stating that I was sorry for the way that things ended, and that I would still like to be friends, I then proceeded to put him back into my phone, and friend request him on facebook... (I'm really an 8th grade girl if you couldn't tell). I feel like I did the right thing, but I'm nervous that he won't read it, or worse think that I'm this desperate loser that just wants him back; but I have to admit that I would go back to when it was good at the drop of a hat. I feel, so pathetic, like, I just couldn't stay away. Couldn't get over this silly boy who, some how managed to grasp me in some way that is hard to describe.

I have that feeling you know, that you get right before you start crying (or I think it what that feeling is, I haven't cried since the day I came out, and that was in 2006) where there is this pressure on your chest, like someone just knocked the wind out of you; and your just barely beginning to regain the ability to breathe. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just get over him and move on? It sucks cause I think of, and miss him every day...

In other news...

I bought a television today, a Vizio 22' HDTV and it is a beauty! But today when I got home around 3am I thought to myself that TV would be nice to watch, but I only have rabbit ears, and thus there would only be infomercials on; and I thought of the good old days before my time, when television stations would play the National Anthem, and then go off the air... I feel like I have not heard that song in too long, and that it is being forgotten by the world, and this makes me sad. A song that to me, represents the creation of this country, and that some people, feel, that it is too violent. These people I would also assume eat tofu, and hate god; But not Allah, because that would be racially insensitive. But that my dear friends is the topic of another day...

Life in a Love Square...?

So... back onto the relationship topic...

It is such a plague on my life! Something I want so badly, but feel like I can't achieve. So there was the guy that I talked about two posts ago.

Brett we'll call him. Brett works as a supervisor for in a job where it is critical that there is a full staffing, not for the companies sake, but for the sake of their consumers. Well recently there were changes to scheduling and people went from working 4 days a week with 3 day weekends, to working 5 days a week with a 2 day weekend. This has caused a plague of call outs and sick days, and to top it off, another supervisor took a month off. So when there is a call out, it pretty much falls onto the shoulders of Brett. In short... he's always at work, and it is a huge stress in his life. He tells me that his life is not usually this hectic and that soon he'll have more time for me.

Brett is also in the process of buying a house. This is also been taking up a large chunk of his free time, and also a major stressor. "My life is not usually this busy". Well I don't doubt for a second that it is, but babe, its just going to get busier in the next little while. Do you have time for a relationship? I haven't seen you in almost two weeks, and I have a feeling that it's not going to work out tomorrow. "Babe, I never see you, and you live a block away... when you move... will I ever see you?"

Matt, the boy that I feel understands me, Lets just get a little background shall we? Matt is currently attending BYU, is the son of the current LDS Stake President, and former Mission President, He's not out, and he's a football player, quite the mans man. I feel this connection to Matt, I can't explain it; and just for the record, Brett is worried that I'll leave him for you. Well from the time that I started seeing Brett, I didn't talk to Matt all that much, and I missed him. I've recently started talking to him again... We were supposed to hang out today, but unfortunately it fell through.

And boy number three on my worries list; the boy that I fell for, and got hurt over.

Tyler, Adorable beyond belief, just one of the sweetest people I've ever met, and one of the few people I think of every day, and miss terribly. Tyler was the first person to truly offend me in a long time, and it shook my core. And sent me into a vicious pattern of hooking up with guys online (a quick way to land yourself in a Louis Vuitton body bag). I feel truly bad about how I ended things, it was very childish of me, and just inappropriate; and I feel pretty bad about it. I'd be lying if I said that I wouldn't want the relationship back. I feel that our time together isn't over... like we have more to do, and learn, and teach each other.

Life, Drugs, and too much indulgence...

I have recently felt that I have too much time to myself. Too much time to think, waste, over analyze, and over all screw myself over. So I decided that it would be a good idea to volunteer my time at Primary Children's Medical Center in Salt Lake City Utah. I feel that this is a noble endeavor. Well getting to that point has been... lets just say its been a rocky road.

I had every intention to take the UTA 811 bus to Sandy, where I would catch Trax and continue on my way up to the hospital. It's something that I hope will become a fairly regular practice in my life. but when I found out that a friend would be going up to Salt Lake that same day, I figured that I could save myself a bus token and just ride up with her... This turned out to be a mistake on my part. She has friends that deal in less then honorable activities, for example, the dealing of drugs.

Well it turned out that she was to have someone follow her up to Salt Lake to purchase drugs, because the dealer, in self preservation won't sell to people that they don't know. I think this is fairly reasonable, I can't say that if I was in the same place that I wouldn't follow the same methods of self preservation. Well we get up to Salt Lake, and the dealer had gone off to do something else, and was no longer where we were to meet them. So we hung out with some shady people for a little while, all the while making me uncomfortable, and to smell of cigarette smoke. I was not a happy camper at this point. All I wanted to do was go to the hospital.

So we found another dealer, and were to meet them at the Fashion Place Mall in... some city I forget. Well we got lost trying to find this mall, we took the wrong freeway, and it was just a mess. So finally when we found it, we then had to find the dealer, get the drugs, and then we were free of them. At this point I was very frustrated, and rather short tempered.

Well my friend and I were both starving, so we went and go something to eat, and then got a caramel apple that we ate while we wandered the mall. Upon the end of the apple, my friend felt that she still needed more sweets. So we went to See's Candies, a shop that is more American the apple pie and baseball. She had never been there. Well half a pound of chocolate later she was sick, I was feeling better, and also rather horny (chocolate is an aphrodisiac if I'm not mistaken). Well all I wanted to do was go home and get nailed by my man.

So now I'm trying to speed up our getting home, but we still needed to find a Maverick gas station, and go to Walmart. The journey to find the Maverick was and adventure, Telnav really sucks sometimes. Then waiting to get gas, which being the gentleman I am, I stood out in the snow and cold pumping the gas. Then again to find the Walmart, less of and adventure, but still an adventure none the less. We finally got our purchase taken care of (and I got some delightful roses), and again with the Telnav to try and find our way home. All the while I'm still horny as hell, as was my friend. Thus leading us to talk about dirty things that we wanted to do to our respective partners.

Well finally getting home, after the adventure of trying to figure out where we were, and the shenanigans of the of the Telnav, neither of us got some, and as far as I know still haven't. All in all an unsuccessful day, but it makes for a good story, and a delightful adventure with a good friend.

Life and Relationships....

I like anyone else I would imagine, want a serious relationship. I feel that this is a normal human want, and especially in my community where we get married and start making babies right out of high school, if not before. So my question to the universe I guess would be... Why cant I find a guy that wants to be in a steady, monogamous, serious relationship; and maybe I'm expecting too much too soon? But I have spent 19 years of my life single, and I'm done with it!

And I can't help but wonder if its something to do with me? Am I doing something wrong? I have no trouble hooking up with guys... so it can’t be that I'm unattractive. Am I needy? Am I expecting things too fast? I don't know, and I'm seeing a great guy, but trying to see him is always a pain with his job and what not; and he tells me he "wants to take it slow". Now I'm probably over analyzing this in my head, but what does that mean? Does it mean, "I'm not ready for a relationship", "I'm really not interested in you, but don't want to hurt your feelings", or "I want to develop a true friendship and then see if a relationship happens"?

I think it’s all in my head... but I can't help but wonder...

Life on my own...

So I have managed to move out of my parents successfully, and for the most part painlessly. The place is quaint, for lack of better verbiage, but i do like it ant the end of the day. The roommates are pretty cool, video gamers, but it could be worse right? They could be... skinheads that would be no bueno si? Still trying to get all my ducks in order, and all my stuff put away, my room is still quite a mess, but it is soon to change. My one roommate has taken a rather amusing interest in me since I’ve come out to him, but i guess I’m the first gay person that he's ever met, so I’m new and exciting, which it cool i guess.

I was finally able to update on my colab channel on the youtubes today, so that was very good i haven't been able to make a video for the last two weeks and I’ve felt really bad about it. But I’m back in full force, and better then ever! Haha i win!

Oh, story time. So my Bishop yelled at me on Sunday! I wasn't sure if i should be amused, or frightened, and he wants to have a follow up interview this coming Sunday, I’m not sure what he expects to have accomplished in the last week, but I’m guessing more then has, but i guess we'll find out. Right?

Life Moving Part 2....

So to morrow is the big day! I'm moving out of my parent’s house and into an apartment! I'm supper excited, but also really nervous. The place I’m moving to isn't, lets say the most Tresfab apartment building in the world, but its affordable, and also i have no idea who my roommates are. So tomorrow is going to be full of adventure! I'll have to post when i get settled in and let ya'll know how it goes.

In other news, i broke down and got a new digital camera today. I’ve not been able to post on my youtube colab channel for the last two weeks, and i feel kind of bad about it, but that is now going to change. It has a viewfinder thought, that kind of caught me off guard, I didn't think that they even still made those on economy cameras anymore, but what the hell, its nostalgia right?

Life in a new world...

So it’s a new year. And honestly I’m sad to see it go, allot happened this year. I feel like i should write them down lest i forget.

I had my first kiss, went to a gay club, went to college, graduated high school, lost my virginity, got a credit card, shoplifted from the Wal-Mart, worked at a dental office, learned that its super easy to spend ALL your money with a debit card, worked at one place for more then a year, moved out of my parents house, moved back into my parents house, started smoking socially, drank alcohol, stripped down to my underwear at a party, became an adult, danced in a cage in nothing more then 6 inches of fabric, fessed up to my parents, realized how much my parents hate what I’m doing, got a cell phone that I’m paying for, learned to be a dental assistant, made videos on youtube, made some AMAZING friends, learned allot about myself.

It’s sad that that chapter of my life is closing, but also truly exciting. Who knows what the future holds, or if we'll even be here past December of 2012. It’s an exciting prospect, but also a terrifying one. But I’m looking forward to it. Its stupid, but i want to cry, because I’m sad, I’m happy, I’m scared, i want to laugh, I’m feeling genuine. Something i haven't felt in a long time. I think that coming clean to my parents was one of the best and most liberating things that i could have done with my life, and i think it's all going to be up hill from here.

What else can i say?

Happy New Year! We've made it this far, so we must be doing something right.