Today i was must unfortunate to have the conversation with my parents about going on an LDS Mission. This has never really been in my plans for life, nor do i think that it ever will be. It was strange talking to my parents about it because i have been lying to them for so many years about my sexuality, my spiritual involvement in the church, who knows that I'm gay... And the list goes on. so its really strange, and difficult to be honest with them. especially when I'm living in their home. But hey, its only for another month or so then I'll be out on my very own! and that will be nice. I think at that point in time when i am not dependent on them i will be able to be honest with them. That is something that i have longed for for quite some time now. But who knows, I may be stuck living a semi-lie my whole life... shit...
But in other news I'm really glad to be home, and really excited to go job hunting tomorrow! I really can't wait till i can have a fairly steady flow of income something that i have been deprived of for the last few months while i was at school. The future looks bright from here, but i need be cautious. It is when life is good that we are at our weakest and prone to the cruelties of the world .
Good night world... Let us hope for a better tomorrow.
Aw that sounds incredibly hard! I really can't even imagine having that kind of conversation with my parents.
ReplyDeleteBut hey, at least you'll be gaining some sort of independence by being home. That's weird to think that you'll get more independence back home then away, but that's Cedar I guess.
I hope things work out, and you're right about being weak when things are going well, it's good you're aware of that.
Love ya,
Kelly