Life Hopeful...

So I have been thinking, and I realized that I've been really mopey lately. And I'm not really 100% sure why. So I Have decided that I am done being like that. I mean, its no fun at all! And it really gets me nowhere, so what is the point of it, really? I think that it might be my being terrified of moving into the real world. That is a feat that I have yet to tackle. I mean honestly, I have never really supported myself, never had bills, been required to provide my own shelter, provide, and prepare my own food, and all the fun little trappings of single life. Don't get me wrong; I am so looking forward to it. I feel that I really need it to be able to really grow up and mature. I would like to consider myself a mature person, but when I really look into it, I'd say that I'm more precocious then mature. So this will be one of the hardest and most important things that I ever do with my life. And I really don't want to screw it up, but I think that it will be completely inevitable that I will screw up big time! But that’s one of the growing pains of life right?

I also decided today that I do really want to go to MUD in Burbank. I just don't want to go to a four-year college. I want to be a Makeup Artist. What do I need with Calc 1010? I guess if I'm trying to figure out the surface area of someone's face. But honestly, when will I ever need that? The only thing that freaks me out about that prospect in my life... the tuition for the course that I want to take is 22K and also I have to be able to pay for myself living there! Life is a scary thing when it comes down to it. But I have once again decided that I really want to be a more optimistic person. I want to come out of this dark place that I've been if for so long. That would be quite refreshing I think... don't you?

We'll see how this all ends up going won't we.......